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the skies I'm under

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I wish I could say I have learned to love the skies I'm under. But that would be a lie. It's so hard to be content with the place where I am now when my heart aches and moans for more.

Always stuck in the monotonous pattern of work and sleep and wishing to break from it all. 
Pouring over photographs on travel blogs and in books, wondering if they do the world justice. 
Studying my French, worrying that I might never get the chance to use it.
Watching from a distance as friends, family, and acquaintances take spontaneous vacations and cross-country road trips in the peak of summer.
When there are countries upon countries full of people I haven't met.
When I know there are so many mountains and jungles and deserts and oceans I haven't seen.
When I am so small and when this world is so so big.
And when God is even bigger, yet for some reason unknown to me He keeps me here.  

It's been hard for me to understand why I am where I am. But I'm trying and trusting.

10 comments

  1. This is such a hard feeling. God's got big plans for you, girl, even when you're feeling stuck. Praying for you. <3

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    1. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement, Grace Anne :)

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  2. Just found your blog. So lovely <3 And I connect so deeply with your post here. For years I've wondered where God is leading me when it feels like He's left me aside. But I read something in a book recently that really helped me understand the hard seasons when we feel left out. From Lisa Turkeurst "Uninvited"-- "You aren't being set aside, you're being set apart." Not an easy pill to swallow most days, but you honestly just have to take it one day at a time. You never know when God will open an amazing door for you. <3

    Btw, I just followed your blog. Excited to read more of your posts. :)

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    1. Awww your comment made my day, Kailey! So glad you're here. And thank you for that nice reminder! It's hard to remember sometimes, but it's true.

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  3. Oh, you just pulled the words straight from my soul. I'm praying that you and I can both come to peace with where we are . . . I used to have a note on my desk that said, "What if you are right where you need to be?"

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  4. I relate to this so much. What we do on an individual scale is so small, but the world is big, and God is good.

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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  5. THIS though... You just put into words what I've been feeling the past few months. I sort of feel like I'm caught in an endless cycle of mediocrity and that if I don't get out of it soon I'll be stuck that way forever without seeing the world and doing crazy and incredible things. And it scares me, but I know that I just have to trust God in what he's doing with my life and know that it won't be this way forever. <3 Thanks for this post, Hannah <3
    xoxo
    Lizzy

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