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the year of more / the year of content

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I hate writing out these end/beginning of the year posts. For me they are always filled with feigned optimism and empty promises, but I always feel like I need to write something about how I felt about the year and my hopes for the shiny, sparkling new year. But this time I am going to be real.

I had high hopes for 2015. I was excited for the clean slate, to start over fresh from the difficulties of 2014. I was going to read more, write more, blog more, be more. I was going to give up procrastinating, and spend less time on Facebook and Instagram, the poisons that feed my procrastination and I was going to do more school and get better grades. I was going to pop my little comfort bubble and talk to new people and make more friends. I was going to be different.

It started out promising, I was able to somehow balance beautifully on top of all of my blogging, reading, and schoolwork like a tightrope walker. But, inevitably, I began to loose my footing, and fell to the safety net below, staring up, wondering where I went wrong. 2015 was suppose to be my year, how could I slip so easily?

I've noticed a pattern in New Years resolutions. People always want to use the promise of a new year to change something about themselves. They will spend more time with their families... they will loose weight... they will better themselves. And I understand. There is something so refreshing about starting over, the fact that we have a second chance to change and do what we didn't or couldn't do before, and there is something honorable about wanting to change for the good of yourself and the people around you.

But I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself in these past couple of weeks. And for this new year, big, beautiful 2016, my goal is simply contentment. I'm tired of forcing myself to be more than what I am. I don't want to be continually comparing myself to other people and their accomplishments, but instead soak up the life and things I have and be happy with it all, and to be confident enough in who I am to show it to other people, in all of its broken messiness.

I want to be filled and overflowing with content for where God has me right now and trust in His power, and not in my ability to do more, because, seriously, nobody can be more than Him.

Happy New Year!

12 comments

  1. OW OW OW. HANNAH DENO. I agree with you whole-heartedly. Amen amen amen. My soul sings it from the depths of the sea. ♥ Contentment. Here we come, 2016. here we come.

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  2. Oh, you said it... nobody can be more than Him. It's like we've had the news years resolution thing wrong all the time - we want to change us. But we can't change us, only He can. And it's about being content with that, content to be patient and let Him work... Sorry, just dumping my brain there. :) But thanks so much for sharing this because I needed the reminder.

    And, happy new year to you too! xx

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  3. You are so right. I do love the start of a new year, and I love making resolutions and feeling incredibly optimistic about the upcoming year. But I've been struggling with discontent a lot this year...I think mostly because I'll be turning 25 in a few months. I've always had this idea of what my life would be like by 25, and most of those dreams haven't happened yet. So in the new year, while I do want to try to become a better person, I also want to learn how to be content with the life God has given me right now.

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  4. AMEN. So much yes and wow and me too in this post! I feel so empowered after reading... THANK YOU for taking the time to be real, because girl I feel this way, too.

    "I'm tired of forcing myself to be more than what I am." so, so much. I'm learning this too.

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  5. "I hate writing out these end/beginning of the year posts. For me they are always filled with feigned optimism and empty promises, but I always feel like I need to write something about how I felt about the year and my hopes for the shiny, sparkling new year."

    I totally agree with every word of that paragraph. It's so true, and I feel the same way. Thank you for writing such an honest post, Hannah! It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

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  6. Amen to that! Great words, Hannah. I think you have a point here, and I believe that if we were all to become content with what we've been given in life, we would become much better people. And that's the point of New Year resolutions, right? I think we have to learn acceptance before we try to change, if that makes any sense. Thanks for this post, Hannah, it's really genuine, and those are the kinds of things that make the most impact.
    Happy New Year! Here's to being content with what God has given us.

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  7. "For me they are always filled with feigned optimism and empty promises... That can be true for a lot of posts. x) I feel the same way a lot of times. I try not to promise myself too much to a resolution or agreement I know I won't be able to keep for long. Because then I feel lousy when I break the habit?? idek. Anyway, I do find it exceedingly interesting to read about other bloggers' end-of-year/beginning-of-year posts...I don't know it's just cool.

    "There is something so refreshing about starting over, the fact that we have a second chance to change and do what we didn't or couldn't do before..." < sooo true. There is something really comforting in the promise of a new year. But I'm just over here like, "what about the promise of a new day?" Like...why wait until January 1st to start a new project, break a bad habit, or look at life in a different perspective? Every new day is a new opportunity to change something -- be it ourselves or our lives or whatever. I know I'll break my new year's resolution at some point. But hopefully I'll remember to say to myself, "you know what? I'm gonna try again tomorrow."

    "my goal is simply contentment." UGH GURL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. Literally, so...like this is kind of my resolution as well. ^.^ I only picked one for myself: live in the moment. But THAT IS LIKE HARD if you don't have an attitude of gratitude (and I think contentment is sort of the same thing. You can't be content until you're grateful for everything you have.) NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT. And it cheers my heart to know that there are still some beautiful souls like you out there. ♥ THIS POST WAS GORGEOUS and wow brought out my philosophical side... xD

    love,
    abbiee

    p.s. I LOVE THE PHOTOS ON YOUR ABOUT PAGE. Likkkeee girllll you are so beautiful! You look like a confident woman who means business. ;)

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  8. I am so glad to have found your blog, it is spectacular.

    Ava, http://landofquiet.blogspot.com

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  9. Oh, Hannah, this is beautiful. Your words ring true; loud and clear. That's something I war against sometimes-- this cycle of comparing myself to other people, or maybe even just to who I want to be?? The ideals I have for myself?? I don't know, but it's an EXHAUSTING merry-go-round and I'm with you: I want to get off. I want to savor the good, good things God has blessed me with and be content. I'll be praying that this year will be one of peace and fulfillment for you and your family. Keep speaking these eloquent, powerful words from your heart, girl. They are mountain-movers and I am blessed every time I read them.

    Also, if you are interested, I tagged you in something called 'the happy tag' over on my blog! :)

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  10. Hi Hannah! (we share the same name, how cool!) I just ran across your adorable little blog, and wanted to tell you how much I like it, and I've followed along! Love your design by the way!
    Han
    http://brainlintblog.blogspot.com/

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