Fantasy Gypsy © 2011-2017. Powered by Blogger.

"what's in a name?"

I keep a list of my favorite names on my phone. Whenever I meet someone with an unusual name, or think of one myself, I quickly write it down so that I won't forget it. I have grown quite the collection over the years.

My sisters always tell me that they feel sorry for my future children, because, let's face it, they are going to get stuck with some pretty peculiar names. I don't care, though. I have an obsession with insanely long, unique sounding names. I can't help it.

via
I think it's because of my own name. Hannah. The name has always felt so overused to me. I have been in classes where there have been (and I'm not even exaggerating) 20 Hannahs. I don't even have to tell you how confusing that can get.
I've always related to Anne Shirley in that way. Call me Cordelia. Please. Anything but plain, old, tired Hannah.
--------------------
Lately I've been struggling with trust.
I hold on too tightly to people and material objects.
I can't let go and let God.
I'm terrified at what might happen if I let go. I always feel like if I do, the thing that I'm holding on to will stretch out its wings, and flutter away. I'm scared of losing, of being abandoned and forgotten by the people I love.

I pray every night for God to help me with this. I believe; help my unbelief [Mark 9:24]. But it's been hard.

I flipped through my little Bible to 1 Samuel awhile ago and read the story of Hannah, my namesake.
I've read it many times before, and know it well, but this time it spoke to me.

Hannah wanted a son more than anything. She wept and wouldn't eat, and her heart was sad [1 Samuel 1:8]. She prayed every day, even though it seemed hopeless.
But then she decided to give it all to God.
And she vowed a vow and said, "O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but give your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head." [1 Samuel 1:11]
I don't know what made her do it. I can't imagine it was easy, it never is easy to let go. But instead of continuing to go on being depressed, she went away and her face was no longer sad [1 Samuel 1:18].
That was the part of the story that stuck out to me. She was no longer sad. She didn't know what would happen. She didn't have any guarantee that she would ever have a son. But she wasn't worried. It was in God's hands.

Reading this comforted me more than I can express.

I think this is one of the reasons I have this name. Every time someone acknowledges me, I am reminded of the story, and how to trust. It's still difficult. I'm not perfect. Hannah wasn't perfect. But I'm learning to put my faith in the One who is.
what I've been meditating on

25 comments

  1. Hannah, this is so beautiful (just like you--name and all!). You are very reflective and I'm so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing this. I pray that same prayer too, every single day (sometimes more than once!)...trusting God is so so so hard but always so so so so so so so so worth it. I'll be praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you, Anne :) It is hard to remember how freeing it is to trust in God, we get to worried when things are out of our control, but when we do, it is extremely worth it!

      Delete
  2. This is so so beautiful and I love it:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh wow, this is beautiful. Isn't it so cool how God works and encourages us in so many different ways!
    I know how you feel with your name being common and everything. There are 3 Lauren's in my gym class alone.
    And I absolutely love how you read the story of Hannah, and God used that in your life. You're an encouragement to me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh girl, in my first year of choir there were at least ten Hannahs. After awhile I just simply stopped answering to my name, since I never knew if they were talking to me or not. It was bad. But this year I am somehow the only one. I am trying to enjoy it while it lasts.
      God is pretty cool :)
      Thanks for commenting, Lauren!

      Delete
  4. This was beautiful, Hannah. Trusting in God and letting go is something a struggle with a lot too. Sometimes I just want to give up trying, but your story really inspires me to keep praying.
    Also, I totally get the 'my name is so overused' feeling. My name's basically on the 'top 10 baby names of 20--' list every year. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My name was number one on the list of popular baby names the year I was born, and kept the position for like 5 years afterwards... XD
      I really like the name Elizabeth, though. It's so versatile, you could be called anything you want depending on your mood. Like Little Elizabeth in Anne of Windy Poplars.

      Delete
  5. This is gorgeous! xx I clicked on your blog, not knowing what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. You are such a down-to-earth person, and soooo sweet!
    p.s. The name Hannah is beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently. ❤️
    ~ Sanjana
    peridotcove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww, thanks for stopping by, Sanjana! I'm so happy you found me. :)

      Delete
  6. Wow, that was so encouraging! I have a hard time letting go and trusting in God instead, but I think that we'd feel so much happier if we just remember that God is in control. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. My actual name, off-line, is such a common name that when people do say my name in the hallway about nine other girls have to turn around and look to whoever is speaking. Sometimes I read my name's meaning and I cringe, but, well, there's a reason why we were given the names we have.

    xoxo Morning

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, we can't really change them easily, it's best to just embrace our given names and appreciate whatever beauty we can find in them. I'm sure your name is gorgeous, though! :)

      Delete
  8. Gorgeous writing, Hannah. I love how you connected two different ideas with the common thread of names...I've never thought much about the meaning of mine...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After we've spent our whole lives hearing them, our names sort of lose all meaning to us. I understand how that goes.
      I've always loved the name Olivia! :)

      Delete
  9. This is so beautiful. I think I'll always need this. Thanks so much for sharing Hannah :) I'll be praying for you!! PS Thank you for the sweet comment on my blog!!! Excuse me while I follow back. Your blog is perfect. Can't wait to read more!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, dearie. You're pretty awesome as well :)

      Delete
  10. This is...wow. This makes me wish I was named after someone in the Bible, so I could read about them and feel inspired. (There isn't much inspiration in reading all the stories with "olive trees" in them, which is what my name means)

    Also, I know what you mean about the "common name" thing--look, there's two other commenters right above me with the same name as me! Seriously, I can't walk two feet without bumping into another Olivia. Sometimes I dislike it, sometimes I love it. Que sera, sera.

    O | Life as a Young Lady

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like I said before, I absolutely love the name Olivia. It's very pretty. But of course, pretty names always get popular. I know the struggle well.There are so many Hannahs in the blogging world, it's ridiculous.

      Delete
  11. omg. ♥ First off, thank you for sharing all your thoughts on this. It was an honor to read what you've been meditating on lately, and I've been thinking about the meaning of "trust" a lot, as well. Sometimes it's just so hard to let go and let God, but I think we all kind of have this sense, deep down, that it's more important than anything. Isn't that was Jesus meant when he told us that the will of the Father is for everyone to believe in the one whom he sent? (John 6 somewhere, I think.) It sounds so simple, but it's really not. In fact, I think it's what pretty much everyone struggles with the most. If we can put our full trust in God, the rest is detail.

    Thank you again for this. ♥
    love,
    abbie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Abbie, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on it as well. :)

      Delete
  12. I've felt the same frustration about having a common names as you (#HannahProbs). Sometimes I wish I possessed a fancier name, more whimsical and unique. But then I realize that God gave me this name, this path, and this life. He gave you your name, path, and life too. Who are we, the pottery, to talk back to the Potter? And then I also realize this: Hannah means grace.

    I mean, how can that be a coincidence? (Once you get to know me, that statement will makes sense.)

    Your insights on the story of Hannah speak so much truth, and I can agree with you that I fear giving things up to God. But oh, how much will we gain when we give up?

    I talk too long. But I'm very glad to meet you and can't wait to read more of your lovely blog!

    Your Fellow Hannah ~Grace in Everything~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hannahs unite!
      Haha thanks for stopping by, Hannah :)

      Delete
  13. This was soo good! I've been struggling with trust too lately, and just the fact that Hannah was happy after she trusted God was an encouragement! Sometimes I worry that if I give it all to God, He'll take it away. He might, but Jeremiah says that He has good thoughts toward me to bring me to an expected end! Thank you so much for this encouragement!

    P.S. I love the name Hannah! It was my favorite doll's name. Then I lost her so I named my next favorite one Hannah!

    ReplyDelete