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When I am Dead and Gone

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Entry #59

When I am dead I want to be buried in the woods. I want to be hidden away from the rest of the world, in a place where only a select few know about. Under a willow tree, next to a nice, gentle stream, with nothing to mark my grave but my name, scratched and faded, on a large, ivy-covered stone. That is where I want to rest, not shoved away in a crowded, depressing cemetery. Yes, that's what I want...
***
I worried my mother the other day. I told her about how I don't mind the thought of dying. I don't fear the fact that I could die anytime. And that is the truth, I really don't.

I explained how I am so sick and tired of our sinful universe. My heart is thirsty. It's thirsty for heaven, for no more pain and suffering. I watch the news and all I want is for Jesus to come back already and fix it all.

I'm not suicidal. I would never kill myself. But if I tragically died suddenly somehow I really wouldn't mind.

I don't know if I'll ever fully understand why God orchestrated it all like this. Why He thought it was necessary for us to live suffocated in sin for so long. But I know there must be some sort of reason. I know He doesn't do things spontaneously, He is a careful and perfect planner. And I'm trying to trust that it will all be for the best someday when I look back on it.
***
Sorry if this seems weird. Just some of my thoughts as of late, they aren't meant to make sense or be profound in any way.

8 comments

  1. Interesting thoughts. You know, I don't really want to live to an old age and have to see the world grow older and more tired and deal with sickness and age. I feel like I would be happier if I died before I grew weary and old feeling. And I don't think it's morbid to think about death that way. (-:

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    1. Yes, exactly. My thoughts as well :) I'd much rather die young.

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    2. Very good points and very thought provoking too :-)

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  2. Well-written post, and very interesting point.

    I'm not scared of dying, because I believe with all my heart that I'll be going to a WAY better place, but personally I *would* like to grow up and live a full life down here before I go to Heaven. You know?

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    1. Thank you. Yeah, I get that, and I do feel that way too sometimes, but at the same time I won't be completely scared if I do suddenly die. Whatever God has in store for me. :)

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  3. Wow! This is basically how I feel! I used to want to grow up and get married and stuff, but I realized that Heaven/the Rapture will be even better. Also, there's a sweetness in not being afraid/worried about it. I'm not scared of death itself, but I do hope that 1) it won't be painful, and 2) that my family won't be too sad. But as soon as God says I'm ready, I'm ready. Thanks for this post!

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    1. Yeah, I don't like pain too much either, so I hope I die in some painless in-your-sleep way.
      Thank you so much for stopping by, Ashley :)

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