The beginning of the year is like a beautiful, radiant sunrise. The start of something new, something clean and pure, with no mistakes made in it yet. Everything seems possible at the New Year, we make resolutions and are confident and excited about them.
Whenever I think of 2015, I get a little burst of happiness that runs through my whole body.
I would be lying if I said that 2014 was incredible, that I got a lot done, that I had fun. 2014, for me, was a big learning year, the first step in my transition into adulthood. And I can't say it's been enjoyable.
This was the year I got my first job and realized just how horrible and sinful this world really is. This was the year I learned how to drive, and the year I learned that I don't like driving. This was the year I discovered that sometimes, when you put your prejudices away, you find that some people are much different than your own perception of them. This was the year of losing friends, and gaining them in strange ways.
2014 has left a scar on my heart that, I think, will stay with me for the rest of my life. It wasn't a bad year, just a difficult one.
This next year I want to take what I've learned in 2014 and fix things, patch up the mistakes I've made.
My first and main resolution is to pop my bubble and be more myself around actual, real life people. Most of the time I'm like a little Emily Dickinson, wanting nothing more than to stay locked up in the confines of my room for the rest of eternity. Really, that's all I want. I can't embarrass myself or be incredibly awkward when I'm with myself, but I know deep down that's not good for me.
I want to be able to show people who I really am, despite the fact that they might not like me. I want to show my writing to the people I love and care about, the people who's opinions matter to me, without being afraid of rejection.
It's going to be hard, but that's my main goal for 2015.
I also want to read more, and take my own pictures (maybe this will be the year I get a DSLR camera... I can dream, can't I?). I want to get out of my comfort zone. I want to finish a novel, and blog, and meet even more bloggy friends and real life friends!
2014 might have been the year of learning, but I have a feeling that 2015 will be the year of change. And I can't wait!
Happy New Year, darlings. :)
31 December 2014