All she's ever known is the ticking of her heart. It is constant. It is what keeps her awake. It is what keeps her alive. She dreams of stopping it. If only she could dig through her chest and rip it out, stop the ticking so that she can sleep at last.
-from entry #10
I haven't written anything in over six months. Half a year without a single word of my story scribbled down. I haven't forgotten my book, it's just been sitting in the back of my brain collecting dust.
I've never been able to stick with a story idea before, and in all honesty, when I started brainstorming for this crazy little book at the end of my Freshman year, I didn't think it would last as long as it has.
I've kept the flame burning for almost two years now... but yet, I have still barely gotten past the first couple chapters of the first draft. Every time I sit down to write it just won't come. I stare at the blank document, trying to squeeze the words out of me, but I'm like an empty tube of toothpaste. I know I have this story in me, I know it's ready to come spilling out onto the pages of a book, but perfect words are nowhere to be found. I feel dried up.
I wrote a journal entry about one of my favorite characters in my book, Permelia. I was feeling her for a moment, and I had to write it down. She all of a sudden came alive to me and I got excited. Here were words that had been stuck inside of me for six months, finally coming out.
I'm not giving up on this story. I can't. It's my baby, and I won't rest until I've seen it grow into adulthood. I might not find the right words now, but someday soon they will come.