Welp... it's that time of year again.
By the end of January you know it's coming. It's like you turn your back for one second, and... bam!... it's everywhere! And I mean everywhere. Everything seems to be coated in a nice shade of pink or red, sprinkled with hearts and glitter. Chocolate and other goodies line the shelves of grocery stores.
I know you know what I'm talking about...
It's not like I have a problem with Valentine's Day or anything. It's a nice holiday. I mean, what could be bad about a holiday dedicated to love and chocolate (emphasis on the chocolate)? Well, nothing really in my opinion... but at the same time, I'm not finding myself entirely excited about it this year.
Not that it is ever a terribly exciting thing in my house. We usually just decorate the kitchen/dining room in pretty pink streamers, and stay at home all day, eating sweets until we puke (last year, my sisters made Nutella french toast... very rich... very sugary... need I say more?).
I'm just kind of in the middle when it comes to Velentine's Day (if you know what I mean). I neither love, nor hate it. I guess I'm just in the middle when it comes to love in general.
I have kind of totally convinced myself that I am just destined to be an old maid (and I don't care if that is considered an 'old fashioned' term, I still use it).
It's not that I think I'm a compleatly annoying and unlikeable person (or, maybe I am, I don't know...), it's just that when I dig deep, and think really hard about it. I can't really imagine any guy ever being interested enough in me to actually date me, let alone marry me. I mean, really, who would want a girl who only wants to be able to curl up in a snuggie with a book in one hand, and an ipad (with internet access) in the other. And a cup of tea wouldn't hurt either...
My sister is reading a book right now about dating, and courtship, and all that jazz, and in the book they said to stop trying to look for a 'Mr. Darcy'. Basically, they were saying to stop comparing every guy in the world to the supposedly perfect guys in books who were created by the minds of female authors.
When my sister told me this little piece of advise, I couldn't help but laugh. That is my whole problem, becaue I am a female author (er...writer). Well, I guess that's not my only problem...the fact that I believe I have been cursed at birth by some evil fairy to never have a boy cast loving eyes upon me might help my helplessness a bit...
So, yep, I am really a hopeless romantic.
But you know what? I am fine with it. Of course, being a girl, I get depressed when I really think about never having a significant other, but I have decided that if this is truly my fate, I'm going to live my single life epicly. And, if I won't be a mother, I am determined to be the best aunt ever! (because, when you have six younger siblings, you know it's going to happen someday.)
I'm going to live somewhere awesome, like England, France, Ireland, or Scotland (I can't decide), and I'm going to write big, thick novels. Epic. :)
Don't worry, I'm not going all feminist on you, telling you that "you don't need a man to be happy!", this is just a soliloquy of sorts, because I know that all girls are different.
Despite what my sisters and close friends might think (I tend to joke about my singleness a lot), I am completely okay with being single. But I do have friends who really do care about having a guy to crush on and love. And that's completely great, if a girl wants to show affection...
You see why Valentine's Day is tricky for me? I have a hard time talking, and describing it. How am I suppose to feel on this holiday?
Oh, well, see you all tomorrow for singles' appreciation day. Half priced chocolate! Oh yeah! (just joking, I'm going to be at a winter retreat with my church tomorrow, so don't look for me.)
What a messy post. #apologies
13 February 2014